Chivalry Is Dead

[kevin_standlee]

While making my usual fuel stop at the Safeway in Redding, a car pulled up in the next lane with three teenagers in it: two girls and a boy. From the looks of them, it must be Prom Night in Redding. The driver was a girl in a lovely sequined prom dress and high-high heels. To my surprise, she was the one who got out and fueled the car. I know that if I had been the boy in the tux in the passenger seat, I would have certainly offered to get out and do the work. Tuxedo shoes may not be the most comfortable in the world, but they're certainly easier to maneuver in than super-high heels. (I know; I've worn both kinds.) Am I being sexist by suggesting that the person who was most easily able to navigate get out and do the work?

(Yes, there may well be issues I don't know about. The girl may have turned down the help. The boy might not actually be mobile. Etc. I didn't ask; I was fueling my own vehicle and otherwise staying to myself.)

Actually, even more remarkable to me than the girl being able to bounce around dealing with fueling her car was that she was able to drive at all. The couple of times I was in heels that high, driving was a real challenge, and in fact at one point I just gave up and took off the right shoe rather than risk getting the heels tangled up in the pedals.

Comments

[howeird]

On the one hand, chivalry is dead, on the other hand, when chivalry was alive women did not drive when there was a male in the car of driving age.

Also, the tux were rented, but that's probably her own dress. If she spills some gas on her shoes or dress, there's no rental company penalty.

And, if she's driving, I'll guess it's her car, her responsibility.

Finally, maybe she was just putting on a show. :-)

[travelswithkuma.livejournal.com]

Bears woulds helps his girls, buts shes won'ts lets bears.

[scott-sanford.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure the driving lesson applies to filling gas tanks too.

[kalimac.livejournal.com]

When I was that age, there were no self-service gas stations.

[dd-b.livejournal.com]

These things go through cycles. At one stage I remember, offering to help with something like that ran a danger of being interpreted as suggesting the girl couldn't cope with it. That's usually a stage a society going through a transition like that eventually gets past, though; on the far side of the transition it makes perfect sense that the person most suited to the task should do the task.

We do seem to have gotten past it for opening doors, anyway. I pretty routinely see women open doors for men and men open doors for women, and anybody open doors for heavily burdened people, and it all seems to be taken for granted.

[kevin-standlee.livejournal.com]

Quite. When Lisa and I are traveling in her vehicles, she typically fuels them (especially the pickup, because the design of the auxiliary tank's fill tube makes it tricky to fill properly) while I'm more likely to wash the windows (being taller and with longer arms makes it easier to reach them).

I'm normally opening doors for anyone else, but a few days ago I was exiting my building while laden down with lots of stuff and I thanked the women coming in who held the door for me; it was much appreciated.

[spikeiowa.livejournal.com]

Good summary from Howeird. All things being equal, you got the better show when the Lady fueled her own car!

[marahsk.livejournal.com]

Agree with the previous comments: if it's my car, I'm used to being the one filling it. A taller person cleaning the windows would be very much appreciated, though not required.

It's also possible that someone who wears heels more often is used to functioning in them.

Most importantly, if the boy doesn't drive, he may not know how to fill the tank. I'd rather do it myself, dress or not, than risk a spill by someone who doesn't know what he's doing.

You are not being sexist by suggesting that the person in (more) sensible shoes perform the task; it might have been somewhat sexist had you assumed that being male = filling gas tanks.

[kevin-standlee.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Lisa and I try to divide the labor in sensible ways. For instance, when clearing the wood around here in Mehama, she runs the chainsaw (having done it more often than me when growing up) while I do the hefting of the logs.

[marahsk.livejournal.com]

Seriously, Kevin, no one who knows you could think you are sexist.