LGBTQ+ People Are Not Going Back
Dec. 3rd, 2024 08:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kevin_standleeAt the moment, the prospects for LGBTQ+ people look a bit grim in the USA. (Also in the UK and other countries, but I'm concentrating on the USA at the moment.) It's probably worst for trans people, as there are those who, while nominally "progressives," seem to think that if we could just get rid of those scary trans people, all of those right-wingers would flock to vote Democratic. That's just stupid, and unfortunately reveals the bigotry of those nominally-progressive people.
You cannot be progressive and freedom-loving if you want to try and negotiate away other people's bodily autonomy and rights. Throwing trans people under the train will not improve the lot of any other group of people. Moreover, the people telling you, "Just give us this one thing and we'll go away," are lying. They will not back down, not ever. Give them a centimeter and they'll take a kilometer. And in particular, if they catch you giving away trans people's rights, they'll say, "Great! Now let's get rid of same-sex marriage and criminalize homosexuality again! After all, you were willing to give away those people's rights, so giving away other people's rights is no big deal, right?"
There is a photograph going around showing a white woman in front of a whites-only women's toilet comparing it to that hateful Congress member putting "Biological" on a women's room in the capitol building. It's a very apt comparison. I have pointed it out to transphobes. Now I think their responses are in bad faith, but it is just vaguely possible that some of them really do not realize that the same arguments they use about keeping toilets safe for "biological" women are the same ones used for keeping toilets safe for white women just a few generations ago. And don't think we can't be returned to those bad old days, because we can, if we allow ourselves to be divided and conquered piecemeal.
My LGB friends: we are all in this together. If we allow the haters to think they've driven a wedge between the LGB and the T, that means they can drive wedges everywhere. Everyone: straight, gay, bi, ace, trans, cis, enby and everything else can be broken up so that only the Strong Vicious Leadership controls everyone and everything. In such a situation, nobody is safe. Nobody's body is safe. Our collective safety depends on our unity and for looking out for everyone else, not just ourselves.
To our Democratic and progressive politicians: You will not win by becoming a copy of the Republican party. Stay true to progressive ideas and for freedom for everyone, not just a few Strong White Men. There is no way to gain more freedom for yourself by taking it away from other people. Either we all stand up for all of our rights, or we're all doomed to be dominated by the evil people who I think want to return this country to the 50s — the 1850s!
I have written to my member of Congress (a Republican), and I am going to write to my two Democratic senators. I don't expect to actually influence our Republican Congress member, but maybe my senators will pay attention when I say that if they fail to strongly support LGBTQ+ rights, I will find someone else to whom to give my vote in the next election. I encourage all of my fellow Americans to do the same thing. We really need to convince the Democratic party that the days of "playing nice" and compromising with people who would deny so many people equality and decency under the law are over. I do not know what the next four years are going to be like, and yes, I'm frightened, even as I sit pretty high on the privilege pyramid, but I know we have to stand up for our rights and not submit to oppression in advance.
You cannot be progressive and freedom-loving if you want to try and negotiate away other people's bodily autonomy and rights. Throwing trans people under the train will not improve the lot of any other group of people. Moreover, the people telling you, "Just give us this one thing and we'll go away," are lying. They will not back down, not ever. Give them a centimeter and they'll take a kilometer. And in particular, if they catch you giving away trans people's rights, they'll say, "Great! Now let's get rid of same-sex marriage and criminalize homosexuality again! After all, you were willing to give away those people's rights, so giving away other people's rights is no big deal, right?"
There is a photograph going around showing a white woman in front of a whites-only women's toilet comparing it to that hateful Congress member putting "Biological" on a women's room in the capitol building. It's a very apt comparison. I have pointed it out to transphobes. Now I think their responses are in bad faith, but it is just vaguely possible that some of them really do not realize that the same arguments they use about keeping toilets safe for "biological" women are the same ones used for keeping toilets safe for white women just a few generations ago. And don't think we can't be returned to those bad old days, because we can, if we allow ourselves to be divided and conquered piecemeal.
My LGB friends: we are all in this together. If we allow the haters to think they've driven a wedge between the LGB and the T, that means they can drive wedges everywhere. Everyone: straight, gay, bi, ace, trans, cis, enby and everything else can be broken up so that only the Strong Vicious Leadership controls everyone and everything. In such a situation, nobody is safe. Nobody's body is safe. Our collective safety depends on our unity and for looking out for everyone else, not just ourselves.
To our Democratic and progressive politicians: You will not win by becoming a copy of the Republican party. Stay true to progressive ideas and for freedom for everyone, not just a few Strong White Men. There is no way to gain more freedom for yourself by taking it away from other people. Either we all stand up for all of our rights, or we're all doomed to be dominated by the evil people who I think want to return this country to the 50s — the 1850s!
I have written to my member of Congress (a Republican), and I am going to write to my two Democratic senators. I don't expect to actually influence our Republican Congress member, but maybe my senators will pay attention when I say that if they fail to strongly support LGBTQ+ rights, I will find someone else to whom to give my vote in the next election. I encourage all of my fellow Americans to do the same thing. We really need to convince the Democratic party that the days of "playing nice" and compromising with people who would deny so many people equality and decency under the law are over. I do not know what the next four years are going to be like, and yes, I'm frightened, even as I sit pretty high on the privilege pyramid, but I know we have to stand up for our rights and not submit to oppression in advance.
Thoughts
Date: 2024-12-04 05:20 am (UTC)"Once you have paid him the danegeld, you will never get rid of the Dane."
>> the same arguments they use about keeping toilets safe for "biological" women are the same ones used for keeping toilets safe for white women just a few generations ago. <<
True. But arguments over toilets can be solved by adding single-user unisex toilets, which is what we already have in places too small for more than one. As high as the murder rate is, I suspect transfolk would be safer in a single cubicle with a solid locking door than sharing a bathroom with anyone. And it's a lot easier to install a toilet than to convince bigots that other people have rights. By all means keep arguing, but if you want people to have a place to pee, unisex will go faster.
>> I will find someone else to whom to give my vote in the next election. I encourage all of my fellow Americans to do the same thing. <<
Nice for people who have options. My ticket here consisted of the Presidential candidates, a handful of local offices with only a single Republican candidate for each, and judges who could only be voted for or against. This fails my standards of a valid election, but nobody cares.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2024-12-04 06:19 am (UTC)I have the same problem you have with lack of options in many cases. This part of Nevada is so dark red that the Democratic party often doesn't bother to have anyone run for office at all. At least with the statewide offices like Senator there is usually a choice in the primary.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2024-12-04 06:36 am (UTC)Re: Thoughts
Date: 2024-12-04 09:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-04 06:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-04 06:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-04 06:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-04 06:44 am (UTC)The GOP has sprayed a firehose of lies and distortions at their base and anyone who is sucked in to their media ecosystem. Often rural markets only have Fox affiliates or Sinclair owned local stations, all of whom spin right. Even CNN, the Washington Post, and the New York Times are sucking up to the right, sane washing them and framing issues in their terminology.
The Religious Reich has been working on this like termites since the 1970s. They put Reagan into power. Each successive Democratic administration and Congress keeps getting suckered in to the GOP framing, and "compromise" with people who don't, won't and probably can't compromise. It's like Lucy with the football, and maddening as fuck.
Solidarity.
Date: 2024-12-04 09:25 am (UTC)I don’t know you, but we share those things, and you voiced some of my biggest sources of anger and disappointment there. Hang in there, sibling.
You’re so wise — no surprise there.
Date: 2024-12-04 09:17 am (UTC)I’ve not been browsing Dreamwidth or Facebook regularly, so this at least seemed like the first time I’d read your public thoughts on this subject. (Sorry for having been so behind!)
I’m not one bit surprised, by where you stand, though: I habitually think of you as a role model for wisdom and ethics, and for living life earnestly as one’s self. I’m sure that many people admire you similarly, and I suspect your writing may reach people who haven’t needed to think about this so personally yet.
Over the past few days, I’ve been on the receiving end of two transphobic rants by people I thought were friends and family, so seeing this from you meant a lot. Thank you so much.
Re: You’re so wise — no surprise there.
Date: 2024-12-04 09:20 am (UTC)PS: Followed your link above, Kayla is lovely. I’ve only picked my jaw up off the floor because I need it for all the smiling I’m doing!
Re: You’re so wise — no surprise there.
Date: 2024-12-04 02:12 pm (UTC)Re: You’re so wise — no surprise there.
Date: 2024-12-04 10:08 pm (UTC)I hear you there! This past summer I lost enough weight to finally be able to (while binding) button the men’s shirts that fit my shoulder width. I tried to be deliberate about it, but… yeah, I now own five and some massively euphoric “dad shorts” and trousers besides. :-P
Re: You’re so wise — no surprise there.
Date: 2024-12-06 07:27 am (UTC)Re: You’re so wise — no surprise there.
Date: 2024-12-06 08:03 am (UTC)Re: You’re so wise — no surprise there.
Date: 2024-12-04 02:10 pm (UTC)Re: You’re so wise — no surprise there.
Date: 2024-12-04 09:55 pm (UTC)How embarrassing for me, I’m sorry. We were introduced by Kate Secor and had a big long meaningful-to-me chat at the start of Helsinki 2017 (my first con, where I would then end up helping at the business meeting), and have talked at a bunch of others. I’m the one who tends to be there to teach an immersion workshop in the fictional language from The Expanse, if that rings any sort of bell. I use a wheelchair part of the time? Anyway, sorry, you made me feel very welcome and I’ve enjoyed your posts here and on Facebook, I should’ve commented more.
Re: You’re so wise — no surprise there.
Date: 2024-12-04 10:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-04 09:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-04 10:07 pm (UTC)I remember when newspapers had separate men's and women's help wanted sections. You can advertise the same job for two different pay rates that way. White women have been the greatest beneficiaries of affirmative action, not Black people. Although how you'll find time to work when you're going to have a household of kids, no child care, and maybe no husband. I have known too many older women who got married in school, got pregnant and had to drop out. In those days, the guy usually married the girl, but just as often, he later took off and she was left with the kid and no support. (This happened in my own family and it happened to a sister-in-law's mother, too. My sister was okay because my parents took her back in. (Although the experience traumatized me as a pre-adolescent and make me baby-phobic for decades.) My sister-in-law's mother wound up on welfare with two kids. My s-i-l told about going to the dentist as a child and the dentist refused to use novocaine, wanting to teach them some sort of lesson.)
This is what we need to fight for: full civil rights for all human beings.